I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize