as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
