Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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