Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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