I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
