he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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