I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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