we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
