it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize