I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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