I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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