so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Who wears a wallet chain?!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
