I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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