when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
