So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
