So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize