His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
