I'm jealous of your bromance
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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