I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
