u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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