just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
