Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
