I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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