Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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