you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
