...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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