hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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