I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
