It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
