Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
