Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
