jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
