do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
