What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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