if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
