I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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