One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
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The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Text me some of your sweat
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