I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
