Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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