they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
