Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
