Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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