operation harelip BJ is a go
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
