I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
