It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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