"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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