Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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