Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
