my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
