I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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