It's Friday. Sex?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
