Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize