i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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