so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize