well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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