I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
