Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize