party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
