You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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