So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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