I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
