do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
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I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
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I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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